I promise..
To make myself the center of my life.
It is very pathetic when your life revolves around others.
It is just like, you are living to make other people happy. What happens when others decide one day, that you are not worth having in their life?
Unsure
I don’t know what I should be doing now.
Should I go to bed since I will have a long long day tomorrow, or should i stay up and wait for my results?
I don’t really fancy knowing my results but I know people will be asking tomorrow since some are my course mates.
Oh dear, lousy lousy feeling, indeed.
Thoughts from the bottom of my heart.
You can hate me.
You can detest me.
But I have to say, I’m sorry.
For the misery I’ve brought to you.
For the happiness I gave but took back.
When I read what happened, tears just rolled.
Things just came too late into our lives.
Those were the things that I yearned for, yet didn’t materialize.
Those were the things that I requested from you, yet I didn’t make good on them.
The 10 lines, which was my bible for the past 14+ months, didn’t seem to be coinciding with yours.
I missed the times with you.
Even though I tried to numb myself with alcohol and meet ups with friends.
Even though I hide under my blanket every night.
I can still hear the songs you sang to me.
I can still see us giggling at something stupid.
But, it is all too late. I have already given up.
On you, me, us.
I gave us chances and time, again and again.
But things weren’t the way I would like them to be.
I’m sorry for not persisting.
I’m really tired.
From everything.
I wish you all the best.
Wondering..
Unsure that I am doing things the right way.
By giving us a break, I thought that we can think things through and hopefully come up with a solution.
However, I’m greatly disappointed.
For the things that you “said”.
I do know what is going on in your life. I really do. Just that I refuse to comment does not mean that I do not care. I do not know what exactly is the coldness that you often speak of.
I do not know what to do now. Just waiting for tomorrow to come, giving myself the next 25 hours to think of nothing.
Protected: tears.
Protected: Brother..
Some thoughts…
Just had an emotional talk with mrBF. Was telling him about me going out on thursday with my juniors for kbox and dinner. He was not very happy about letting me go. And I can understand.
I know that he worries about me being snatched away by other guy/s (like yah right??). Because a similar incident happened before but that does not mean it will happen again.
Some may say that he is selfish but I will say that it is his lack of self-confidence at work. Therefore, I believe that a heart-to-heart is required at this moment. That was what we did exactly. I hope that I manage to regain some of those confidence after the talk.
Smelly Bii Bii,
Remember what I told you just now? You will always be the one I love. All these gatherings and camps only serve one purpose. And you know what is it. Have faith in me k. I love you.
Xiang Bii Bii.
Sorry..
Am at mrBF’s place now. Did something wrong on wednesday. Disappointed mrBF till the point that he does not have trust in me anymore. Really sorry to mrBF. I really did not do it with ill intention.
Luckily, he has already forgiven me and all is fine now. Really has learnt a lot from this incident. Learnt that mrBF is indeed, the best-est boyfriend a girl can has, and, I have to grow up. Have to take responsibility for my own actions.
mrBF, I am really sorry for being the disappointment that I was, but I promise that I will learn from this mistake, and behave myself and be the best girlfriend that any boy can has. Remember our promises? The future that we dream of? I will work hard with you to make that dream becomes a reality. =D
Forgetting…
You said that you were not ready to commit. Yet you asked if I was serious when I asked you to be my boyfriend. You sounded disappointed when I said I was just kidding. What exactly is it that you want?
I am forgetting. Forgetting how you look like.
Jerk!
Besides feeding me with the same lies again and again, what else can you do?!!!
